when trapped words tumble back down your throat and surrender themselves 

at the bottom of your heavy lungs and heart.

sometimes I get the feeling they’re like water in there,

sloshing about as I toss and twist my limbs in bed,

it’s no use trying to calm the syntactic waves since the weight of certain phrases always tend to pile up no matter how flat I lay.

When I breathe, letters flutter up in bubbles, tickling the chords in my throat;

they have the best intentions, I know. But they cannot leave me, not yet.

When I wake the seas are calm.

I have braved both the night and the storm, as in a dream the worst parts are forgotten.

In my cerebral reverie I’ve long recovered from the fires of various scenarios.

And the day beats on. My feet tread firm, but my heels are scared; with every step those word slosh lightly, lapping up against my mouth, nearly spilling when I carelessly mistep. 

Sometimes I forget what I’m carrying. I forget that the sleep does not dissipate all turmoil.

But,

come late afternoon I find the hidden thoughts and phrases precipitating,

some words bead up like droplets of rain, and ascend out of my lungs when I allow myself a sigh of relief. In that moment I feel the most alone.

By night it’s low tide inside my heart, and I become thankful for the moon. I can suck in the day’s air as much and as frequent as I like, my thoughts respire more and more

and more each time and sometimes, by my suprise, some of them find their way up to my eyes, where they peacefully ascend, free like the wishes of dandelions sprayed in spring.

The moment is fleeting and fragile. I feel too light without the leagues of emotion levying against my lungs. Then I regretfully recall that night is just about to truly fall, 

back inside me, 

inside the bottom of my heavy lungs and heart,

like a sea. A sea that may never leave me. 

Figure Father

How has father affected me?
Was it his leaving,
Or his being?
You think it’s that I don’t trust men.

[O baby,
It’s that I’m just like him.]

I always noticed the treachery,
Memories of mistress before
The wedding.
At home I wiped the glass door clean,

[But did I explain it to
Mommy?]

Strangely fond of what
You’ve done—
In Belize
Or on the run.
Papa’s a rolling stone,
They say.

[I roll you around most every day.]

You left without a word of why.
I filled in the blanks.
I made up your lies.
You will come back,
I know its true.

[Maybe you shouldn’t, 
I’m through with you.]

I’m through with you,
And through with me.
I renounce all you’ve been,
And all that i’m being.

I can’t go on like this much more—

[Am I a lady
Or daddy’s whore?]

follow me, fellow poets, at theoldlie.tumblr.com

And Now

Grandma just forgot my name.
Seems like mommas turning out the same,
Theres chemtrails in the sky tonight,
Man this bailout thing ain’t right.
Who the fucks fault is this?
In the world I’m supposed to raise my kids—
Maybe thats why I wanna get higher,
Because the governments are fucking liars!

Because the governments are fucking liars!
Maybe thats why I wanna get higher!
In the world I’m supposed to raise my kids,
Who the fucks fault is this?
Man this bailout thing ain’t right.
Theres chemtrails in the sky tonight—
Seems like mamas turning out the same.
Grandma just forgot my name.

It was a blessing to take care of you,

letting you fall asleep in my arms each night.

My mind was awake every hour thinking,

and praying that things would be all right.

I don’t know why you were taken from me,

or why I sit here broken and bereft.

It kills me to know you’re not coming back.

And I hope that it didn’t hurt when you left.

I wanted to grow closer as we both got older.

I wanted time so you could fall in love with me too.

I just want to hold you again.

I wanted to do everything for you.

What would it be like if you were still here?

I still think about you all the time.

How can one small puppy mean so much?

You were supposed to be mine.

Summer by Kongsaeng Chris Everson

Summer meant
swimming and no school
but now it means
burning alive
outside
so I hibernate
indoors
in this air-conditioned house.

benched

spidersthatcantbe-killed:

they put me on the bench again

i watch my teammates skid across

the polished floor, shoes squeaking

as they dribble that orange ball

and i wish they would send me out just once

because while they are the stars

they are in the spotlight

and while i sit and watch

i am the understudy

unseen

unnecessary

unacknowledged

(Source: )

via

You tell me you love me.

You tell me you love me, you say you’ll never lie.

She says that you loved her? Stupid bitch, just die!

You’re my world but I can’t help being scared.

You tell me you hate her but now you are friends?

I’m glad she’s a slut and you’re not together,

It makes me sick to think you were with her!

I know that I’m paranoid and hurt you at times,

I just really can’t lose you Andrew. You’re mine!

Everything that you say, you’ve said before,

I wanna rip out my heart and throw it on the floor.

You tell me you love me, I believe that you do

It just hurts me so bad that I’m number two.

This distance breaks my heart more each day

I put on a fake smile and just pretend I’m okay.

All I really want is to give you a kiss

It’s hard to love when your heart’s like an abyss.

I’m sorry that all I do is cause you pain.

It seems we’re never going to be the same.

I have to go and fuck everything up,

I’m sorry, you’re my world I love you so much.

I’m glad you see your friends and have a good time,

Sometimes I wish you didn’t is that a crime?

I sit here on my bed just staring at my phone,

Waiting for a text to say “baby I’m home”

I’d do anything to see you walk through my door,

With tears in my eyes and my heart on the floor.

I whisper in your ear then give you a kiss,

“It’s been too long, baby I missed this”

I’m still awake and it’s quarter past one,

I wonder what you’re doing and if you’re having fun,

Or if you’re thinking about me at all tonight,

But then I remember that we had a fucking fight.

Arguments with you hurt more than anything.

It’s worse than a knife entering your skin

I start to feel physically sick I can’t stand it.

All I can think is, “fuck what if we split?”

You know I love you but I’m just a bitch,

Slit my throat and throw me in a ditch.

Only then I wont hurt you anymore,

Your heart will be the only thing left sore.

Andrew Davenport you are my life.

If I lose you just hand me a knife,

but I CAN’T lose you I love you too much.

I miss your everything, even your touch.

Your touch on my skin sends chills down my spine.

We’ve been given a chance, this is a sign.

I love it when you hold me, I feel so safe.

I’d love to stay there and go no other place.

I hate it when you’re in a mood with me.

I try to be the best girlfriend I can be.

I know I’m not fucking perfect I can see that.

I piss you off you so much, I’m such a stupid brat!

I miss those kisses that I’d get in the morning.

Who knew it’ll get this hard, where’s the warning?

Every second of pain is worth it when I am with you.

I love you so much Andrew, honestly I do.

Most of all I miss how we used to be, always happy,

Before we were together, don’t you see?

We’ve changed, don’t get me wrong I love that you’re mine.

We will be okay again, I promise, just give it time.

Things Will Always Work Out

Timing and patience is all we need.

Do not splurge and put the mass amounts of food in our mouths.

Slow down and see every detail of life.

Details our what makes us sharp

The light is what opens our eyes all the way

Inspirational thoughts are what make us more of men and woman.

The mind should not be wasted

If the mind is wasted, the eyes will be covered by the snow.

The snow will make us cold and we will not be able to see the light of the never-ending day.

Double Edged Sword

I just feel like your concern is for show,

A way to hold me close,

As I lie in wait for another fell blow,

You’re sunshine and a poison dose.

Bump!

Things that go ‘bump’ in the night

Should not really give one a fright.

It’s the whole in each ear

That lets in the fear,

That, and the absence of light!

-Spike Milligan

When Daddy and Mum got quite plastered,

And their shame had been thoroughly mastered,

They told their boy, Harry:

‘Son, we never did marry.

But don’t tell the neighbours, you bastard.’

-Anon.

Relativity

There was a young lady named Bright,

Who travelled much faster than light,

She started one day

In the relative way,

And returned on the previous night.

-Anon.

Fatigue

I’m tired of Love: I’m still more tired of Rhyme.
But Money gives me pleasure all the time.

-Hilaire Belloc

Their Sex Life

One failure on
Top of another.

-A.R. Ammons

News Item

Men make seldom passes
At girls who wear glasses

-Dorothy Parker

I have glasses and a lot of men make passes at me! This is such a lie…. lol